To Hell and (not quite) Back

dear dear. a night spent mostly awake trapped between misery and horror and occasional sleep filled with nightmares. nightmares were better than the waking as moments of joy were truly lovely before being cut short by social and structural boundaries. overall i felt my soul being sucked out of me. a lonely event now, my third attempt at leaving bed and staying afloat, i'm going to wander the apartment contemplating the beautiful and curious curios and see if i can make contact with the universe. for the day i will be but an observer on planet earth.

In my rearranging I have this bowl empty for the first time in years. I made this in a metal working class years ago. We were only allowed to pound metal for the first two weeks on account of it making too much noise. I had just been unceremoniously dumped by a man I had spent 8 years with. I had rage. I cut a piece of copper in a circle and I heated it and hammered, heated it and hammered. My rage rendered the hammering effortless. My rage fueled the creation of something quite lovely. I don't know what it all means. I think I have to go draw it.